Sanity, Starbucks, and Solace

Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotion.  It was the first day of preschool for both of my little ones!  After a hectic morning I managed to get both kids dressed, fed, lunches packed, and out the door.  On the way to preschool I was feeling tired because my daughter is going through a wake-up, wake Mommy up, and beg for chocolate milk at 4:00 AM phase.  In the madness of getting the kiddos ready, my coffee sat on the counter untouched.  At this point my eyes started glossing over and the only thing I could think about was the Starbucks that was 2 miles away from the preschool.  But that thought was instantaneously met with guilt as I just promised my husband I would cut down on frivolous spending.  So at that moment, I realized the financially responsible thing to do is to go home and nuke the the now chilled coffee that awaits my return. Ughhhh...

So we make it to school, I'm trying to excite Aria who is clearly showing signs of angst, and in the the door we go.  The first door we pass is the classroom for the 4 year olds.  I see the teacher has put all of their names on 4 leaf clovers - very clever and cute.  I smile until my eyes see one of the clovers has the name "Ethan" on it.  I felt like someone punched me right in the gut.  Now I know that Ethan is a common name but it still hurts when I see it.  Especially when he would be four at this time.  I immediately thought, "That would be his classroom if he were alive, that should be his clover."  My sanity is clearly being tested today.

With the rest of the children filing into the hallway I was quickly snapped out of my momentary trance.  It was loud, my heart hurt, and I really needed a flipping cup of COFFEE!  Okay focus, I have to get my two other children to their classrooms with the least amount of kicking and screaming as possible. Deep breath.  Let's do this.

I drop Gabe off first.  He did really well once I gave him a pacifier.  Oh that pacifier...he's gonna be a tough cookie to break on that.  To my surprise, Gabe's teacher handed me $10.00 and told me I had overpaid for Gabe's school bag. Yay extra $$!

Next, Aria.  As expected she was less agreeable to being dropped off than her little brother.  She immediately starting crying and took a little bit of hugging and singing to get her calmed down but finally she does and I kiss her goodbye and dash out the door.  I walk past the 4 year class room and glance at the Ethan clover and sigh.  I sit in my car and exhale.  Sooo tired and emotional.   Wait...I have an extra $10.00!  I thank God for his small blessings and head to Starbucks.

I pull into the Starbucks drive-through (a blessing in itself) and I almost fell out of my seat.  The Pumpkin Spice Latte is BACK!  It is ninety-five million degrees outside and I, practically hyperventilating with excitement, order a piping hot pumpkin spice latte.  I  take a sip, and there it is, that unmistakable flavor that's like a warm hug from an old friend.  

It's funny how some smells and tastes can elicit memories.  Because I have been drinking this cult classic since Starbucks introduced it, I have quite a few memories associated with this holiday treat.  The one that came to me was a true blessing.  It was Ethan's first Halloween.  He was four months old and I told my husband Ethan and I were going pumpkin hunting.  Ethan and I headed to a local pumpkin stand.  I put his little chubby self in my baby bjorn and off we went.  It was a special moment for me, holding him closely, picking out his first pumpkin.  And as I opened my eyes, wiped my tears, I realized how good God really is.  The clover, the extra $10, the pumpkin spice latte; it all brought me back to a special moment with my son.  In that moment, I was with Ethan again. And that was the solace I needed. 


1 comment:

  1. What a great post! It's encouraging to hear how God is using small but creative ways to bless hearts that are open to hearing from Him. Can't wait to read more.